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+--- Thread: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? (/thread-1646.html)
HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - euigorwithyou - 08-06-2008
I will tell you a brief story about a high profile person, - the manager of a firm. He was smart enough, but not wiser than one of his assistants. So this manager adopted a strategy against his assistant. He always treated him with an air of superiority and made use of any opportunity to intimidate him. The question is:”Why he did so?” One person gave the following explanation to this situation, talking about himself: “Give me a hard time, intimidate me and you will get a fool in front of you. But treat me with peace, respect and consideration and you will have a wise person in front of you”. The answer is obvious: the manager didn’t want to admit the thought that other person was wiser than he was. And he wanted to make everyone in his firm believe that he was the wisest man.
So how to stop being intimidated by others? The answer is: try to calm yourself before meeting with a person-victimizer. Be determined to react with full calmness. If your calmness will throw the oppressor out of balance repeatedly, he might not enjoy the process. Train yourself in advance not to pick up other people’s intimidating behavior. Respond to intimidating attacks with absolute calmness. And you have good reasons for doing this. Why? Because the victimizer inflicts on his nervous system regular blows without realizing the future consequences.
Re: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - Hakan G - 08-06-2008
Regarding your example about the "wise" manager, I’d recommend you to not struggle with him, just accept what he’s saying, it is his business which is going down, you know? You are paid, that’s it. Business is business, nothing personal. Of course you could lose your job, but that’s another story.
Re: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - euigorwithyou - 08-08-2008
A man holds a bird in his hand. The bird is struggling to escape, flapping with her winds. When it tries harder, the man squeezes it stronger in his palm. But the bird stops fighting, it stays silent, making no noise at all. The man forgets that he holds the bird and opens his palm. The bird is free from the squeezing pressure of a man.
So what we learn from this is that the calmness is the key to the freedom from being victimized.
Re: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - euigorwithyou - 08-09-2008
Now, in our story, the manager took advantage and made unscrupulous use of his assistant's good nature. This manager's quality is called presumption. And what is presumption? It is related to arrogance, impertinence, insolence and immodesty. A presumptuous person is prideful, egotistical and audacious. Of course, we don't want that these attitudes will dictate the business environment.
The best way to respond to a presumptuous behavior is an absolute calmness. And what will help you to be calm? Well, presumption is one of the most dangerous quality, which harms first of all its possessor . It destroys the person's spirituality, genuine respect for people, mildness, modesty etc. Presumptuous people don't have real friends. Deep inside they are unhappy people. They are always alone. So, instead of fighting against them, you need to have pity for them. So, to the question:"How to stop being victimized?", we may respond:"Have a right attitude and put things in a right prospective. Namely, the victimizer is a person for whom we should have pity."
Re: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - Steven - 08-15-2008
I agree with you Igor. However I avoid being victimized by responding that person with the same action. I'm a very inventive guy, so, if somebody tries to play tricks on me, I do the same thing with him, maybe even worse.
Re: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - Faw_Peter - 08-18-2008
that's a good way for revenging yourself. But, be careful not to become the same like the guy who tried to play tricks on you.
Re: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - euigorwithyou - 08-19-2008
Yes, that's the principle of boomerang: a device that is able to return in the flight to the thrower. You get what you "trow" on other person. And when you think that boomerang was used to kill pray, you might become soberer.
Re: HOW TO STOP BEING VICTIMIZED? - Steven - 08-19-2008
so should I consider my way of defending myself efficient?