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what is the funniest joke that you've heard before?
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knock knock whos there lettuce lettuce who lettuce in it use to crack me up but not anymore
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nock nock who0se there potatato potato who just potato
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Duck walks into a busy hardware store and gets in line. When he gets to the clerk he asks, "Can I have a pound of grapes?"
Hardware clerk replies, "What? This is a hardward store, we don't sell grapes."
Duck says: "Ok, thank you." and walks out.
Next day,
same Duck walks into tje same busy hardware store and gets back in line. When he gets to the clerk he asks, "Can I have a pound of grapes?"
Hardware clerk replies, "What? Hey, I told you yesterday, this is a hardward store, we don't sell grapes."
Next day:
Same duck walks back into the same hardware store and gets in line. When he gets to the same clerk he asks, "Can I have a pound of grapes?"
Hardware clerk replies, "You again? OK, wise guy. For two days in a row I've told you this is a hardward store, we don't sell grapes. Next time you come back in here asking for grapes I'm gonna take two ten penny nails and hammer your little web feet to the floor, get me?"
Duck says: "OK, thank you and walks out.
Next day:
Same duck walks back into the hardware store and gets in line. When he gets to the clerk he asks, "Do you have any ten penny nails?"
Hardware clerk replies, "Funny you should ask, we are fresh out!"
Duck replies, "Then can I have a pound of grapes instead?"
I don't know why this is funny to me, but every time I hear it ILMAO!
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A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the h*ll up."
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I can't think of any other onesright now, so here it goes:
A kid was doing very bad in school, especially in math, so his dad moved him into a Catholic school. When he brought home his first report card, he had received an 'A' in math.
His dad asked him, "So what helped you son? Was it the Nuns? The textbooks?"
And the kid said:"No dad. But when I walked into the door and saw the guy nailed on the plus sign, I knew this place meant business!"
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there is an outhouse in mexico. when your outside it your an american what are you when your inside?
european
